I used to think I was a failure. I felt like everything I tried to do was a failure. I kept trying in spite these feelings. Every time I wanted to give up, I reset and got back up. I was doing the best I could.
I did not know why this process was so hard, but I had to keep trying. It had to get better.
Sometimes I would find things that helped me get by. I kept doing those things. I kept trying. I built up a slew of things that were helping me. I kept going. I kept trying.
Eventually, I realized the whole time I had been learning. I had acquired skills, wisdom, and knowledge, for helping me to get better. I had not been a failure at all. I flipped a switch. I was no longer just surviving; I was now alive. I learned how to manage my mental illnesses.
I never actually know what I was fights for, but this is so worth it. I love this new life. I will keep fighting to maintain it.
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